


Invisible Sun

by aam5ever



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Actor!Roman, Angst, He’s a sad boy with a lot of issues, Vampire!Roman, Vampire!Sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aam5ever/pseuds/aam5ever
Summary: Roman’s reflection, or lack thereof, gets under his skin from time to time.





	Invisible Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise surprise I’m also in the Sanders Sides fandom. Here’s a little au for y’all!

Roman missed his reflection.

 

He was brushing his teeth early in the evening, 7pm.  _ Ha, I almost feel normal.  _ The solitude of the bathroom echoed the  _ swish swish  _ of him moving the water around in his mouth, and then the sound of his spit and the faucet squeaking to open to wash down the mess. Roman had leaned down to spit, and now coming back up he came face to face with the cabinet mirror and saw...

 

Nothing.

 

All he could do was sigh. What did he expect with those sharp canines of his and that cold, pale skin that will never feel warmth again? He brought up a wet hand to his face to wipe off any excess toothpaste, dried off the water from his mouth, and put his toothbrush back in the cup that held it. For a few moments he stood there, holding the sides of the sink and staring into the mirror. It showed the shower behind him, the two towels that hang side by side; one for him, one for his roommate Virgil. Within the mirror, an exact replica of the bathroom’s farther wall and everything after could be seen. All, that is... except him. Roman has to tear his eyes away to stop thinking about it.

 

Getting ready for the day could be done with his eyes closed. Roman sometimes found himself doing so. He brushed up his hair that was still slightly damp from the early shower and caught a whiff of the lavender shampoo that he utilized this morning. Usually scented shampoos didn’t do wonders for him, but as of late this scent has been a favorite of his. Roman made a note to thank Patton in the future; he was the one that recommended it, after all.

 

As he drifted from the bathroom to his bedroom, Roman saw the purple hue of outside’s night through a crack in the blinds. That made him stop in the living room. Usually they kept them drawn, but... Roman opened them to look outside. Above the sky held only a few puffy clouds dyed that wonderful deep purple shade. People were walking rather quickly home below, possibly afraid of the things that go bump in the night getting to them. He smiled a grin that he knew would strike fear into many beating hearts. Roman loved humans, he really did, but he can’t remember the last time he’s been afraid of something like that. After all, fearlessness is an everlasting side effect of  _ becoming  _ the feared. 

 

Eventually he did make it to his bedroom. Logan was going to come over tonight and Virgil was... perhaps asleep already. He was a strange vampire. There have been times Virgil has looked rather well rested after Roman’s knocked on his room door at all hours in the night, yet he tries to rest during times he should be most active. And then, Roman hears him moving about in the mornings and afternoons when he himself is barely able to open an eye. A very, very strange vampire indeed. 

 

Perhaps he was shy. Virgil hasn’t even mentioned the  _ word  _ vampire yet. Roman hasn’t either, out of common courtesy. If Virgil didn’t wish to speak about it than neither did he. It didn’t bother him or anything. All he could do was think it... odd with a bit of a smile. 

 

Opening his closet, Roman couldn’t help but think,  _ What does Virgil think of his reflection?  _ Another mirror was there behind the door of his closet, taunting him. He tried to ignore it, but the light reflecting off of his lamp by his bed was caught in the reflection. Stealing glances at it almost disappointed him. What was he going to do, see himself out of the corner of his eye? Finally get a glimpse at what he looks like after all these years? It was almost hard to remember, and he’s sure that he’s changed. He just wished he knew how.

 

He began to shift through the hangers to distract himself. Too sparkly, too plain, too plaid... ah! Perfect! Pulling out an outfit consisting of a white button down and dark jeans, he also pulled out his red scarf that he usually wore during nights he felt like this. Lucky for him, that was every night. Out came the dress shoes, some Oxfords that he’s been practically abusing lately, and then Roman closed the door to his closet to change.

 

At least, he was supposed to. He left it open and continued to let the mirror jeer and mock him.

 

On went the outfit he pulled out from within the confines of his closet. It was a cramped space, but mainly because of all of the outfits and clothing Roman has been collecting since he became what he was today. The pajamas he wore beforehand were balled up and thrown into the hamper, Roman slipping into his pants and buttoning up the shirt. He missed a button, went back down, and started all over again, grumbling to himself. “If I could only  _ see  _ what I was doing...” Roman said, throwing a bit of shade at the mirror. The mirror did not respond, seeing that it was, indeed, a mirror.

 

The shoes went on next, and then the scarf found it’s way around his neck. First he brought it around like a noose, found it too morbid, and then tied it like an infinity scarf.  _ Better _ , he thought, or rather hoped. Roman has no frame of reference to fix anything that was possibly off on him. All he could do was guess and check. 

 

Turning towards the mirror one last time, Roman saw the clothes somewhat floating in the air. An invisible being wore them, and he fixed the collar on the invisible being’s shirt.  _ This is all I am _ , his thoughts tried to convince him.  _ An invisible man. Do you even remember who you were when you  _ could _ look into the mirror?  _

 

He shook his head of the thoughts, and saw the invisible being’s body also shake slightly as he did so. “I’m not invisible.” Roman said to himself, forcing a smile on. “I’m an actor, aren’t I? Yes, a star in theatre. People always come to my nightly shows, and I’ve got an edge and charm people love to see. I’m not invisible. I shine in the spotlight. I am  _ made  _ to be seen.” The words of encouragement fell upon deaf ears: his own.

 

Like the sun, he was shining... but never for himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


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